Optical Illusions

And...we're back! The hiatus is over. The Font Police is back on the streets to lay down the law one type at a time.

This week, we're keeping things local. The upper class outskirts of Seattle have caught the attention of the FP. It involves not only type, but words and the play on said words. The outcome can easily be fabulous or wretched...

A good play on words is an absolute delight! Even more so when the chosen typeface is a perfect match. However, a bad play on words is an embarrassment to everyone involved. And when the chosen typeface is mediocre (or worse: just plain ugly), the results are horrifying. Take a look at this gem found in Kirkland, Washington (trivia: home of Costco!):



No, not the Desert Sun sign. Not that we're advocating tanning salons, but at least they use an unoffesive typeface. Look at the sign just to the right it that says

EYEDENTITY

Hm.
*gag*

The gag reflex redux:

1. Does the sign say EYE DENTISTRY? It's always, always, always a bad sign (ha!) when the passerby can't even tell what a business' sign says. Poor marketing strategy. Let's hope this type doesn't show up on their business cards. Tip: Next time, don't let the amateur wordplayer come up with the name for your business. What is it with opticians and bad signage anyway?

2. Was the sign installed incorrectly? Or wait, was it taking up too much room laterally and had to be tilted so as not to encroach on the adjacent business's signage zone? Really, there's no reason for the skewed orientation. Yet another unnecessary layer of "Look at me!" signage strategy. Good thing they didn't have the budget for blinking lights. (Inaccurate or lack of as-built measurements are not even worthy of comment.)

3. Did the specific type get chosen because it was on clearance? There is no excuse for the existence of typeface that makes letters like "E" and "Y" look as awkward as they do in this case. One can only imagine what they do to the number "3" in this font family. Let's banish them for all eternity along with the likes of Papyrus and Comic Sans.

4. Two-toned color? Really? Red and blue? Really? I suppose one might get even more confused if it were monochromatic and think the sign read EYED ENTITY. That's not creepy. But it is. It would fall victim to the wordplay-turned-unintentional word puzzle. Which basically tells you: THE PUN IS A BAD IDEA, DON'T DO IT.

That's all, folks. But seriously, I am truly concerned that the professionals in the optical sciences seem to be blind to the error of their ways. When's the next convention? I'm here to help.

Until next time,
Font Police

Take a Big (Retro) Belt and Cinch It!

Those crazy Germans! Their clean lines, utilitarian design, and crisp precision...Despite some of their past missteps, we can all still learn something from their strong organizational skills.

This shot of a Berlin hotel sign is fantastic! Looks like the text is integral to the overhang - illuminated, properly scaled, restrained of excess color/texture. The subtle graphic quality of pullman conveys its point as the name to remember. It's in bold, and softer, more playful than the rest of the text. And, it reminds me fondly of the original Gap logo, pre-1990s:

So simple and clean. But somewhere along the line, they felt the need to re-brand themselves, create a reborn persona suitable for the mid-90s vibe. Getting serious with the palette of darker shades like navy and maroon. Sounds conservative. Capitalizing to highlight their capitalization on the casual fashion market. Or, are they shouting? Showing distinguishing characteristics with a serif type. Anorexic too. Back then, the 60s weren't cool. The 90s were!

Case in point, the Gap is captured on Saturday Night Live! Like, totally. Back in the heyday of Gap's fashion empire. Everyone and (quite literally) their mom owned a t-shirt, pair of jeans, sweater, or at least socks from The Gap.

Only in retrospect can we soberly evaluate our misjudgments. But, who knows? Pleated printed skirts and cardigans could be all the rage next fall! No fashion faux pas is safe from regurgitation. So maybe there is room for squares...

In closing, my suggestion is...keep 'em both! And interchange as appropriate! Not. I'd rather see the old typeface on the square background - but rotate the color of the square to fit the flavor du jour. It's not like they haven't done that already. 

Easy! 

Until Next Time,

Font Police

(photo credit: Lieutenant TrueType, The Internets)